My pregnancy with Coen was a piece of cake physically. Emotionally it was very difficult. I usually didn't even acknowledge that I was pregnant. I would just go on about my day. I don't remember talking to him or putting my hands on my stomach to feel him moving or even watching my stomach to see him moving. I just distanced myself as much as I could until he was born.
This time I couldn't be more excited! I cannot wait to meet our little man!! His nursery is all done. Everything we have so far is washed and put away (it isn't much but I still wanted to get it done). I talk to him constantly. I spend time each day with my hands on my stomach just feeling and watching him move. It is such a happy pregnancy...
HOWEVER!!!
This pregnancy is the most difficult thing that I've ever encountered. Some days I can't walk. Most days I can't get up and down without help. I rely on Bryce and Coen to do everything for me; cook, clean, get things for me, help me stand up, help me walk, help me sit down, help me in and out of bed, literally everything in my life requires help of some sort. And I hate this! I don't like giving up control and admitting that I need this much help.
After going to the doctor this month, my doctor got to see me in bad pain. She asked a few questions and thinks that she knows what is going on. Either scar tissue is tearing or I have a genetic disorder of my bladder. Either way there is inflammation of my bladder and the question is whether it is the inside or outside my bladder. The BEST part is that there is nothing that I can do about it! I have some pills to take when the pain flares up but honestly they don't help. I also have another pill to take at times of extreme pain but it's a narcotic so I don't like to take it often.
I was talking to a friend of mine and she said that I should look into a belly band. I have one, but it's like a sleeve and honestly I don't see the point in wearing that one. But she had one that I could try on and borrow to see if I liked it. So I went over and got it. It didn't seem to help much. Kinda felt like it was putting more pressure on my bladder. But I still wore it for a few days, then one day I forgot it... BAD MISTAKE!! I thought I was going to die. Holy cow the pain was out of control! The pain brought on contractions. The pain and contraction combo made me fear that I was going to black out. I couldn't get ANY relief. Not even when I did get the band back on did it help. Bedrest didn't help. A narcotic didn't help. Called my dr. The nurse was convinced that it was a UTI. Went in and nope it sure wasn't. This only confirmed my doctors suspicions that it is a genetic disorder. I have ALL of the symptoms of having a pregnancy-threatening UTI but without actually having an infection.
The meds that I have to take for my IBS, which is out of control now that I'm pregnant, make is to I can't gain weight which worries me. They also make it so I'm in a constant state of nausea and my stomach is constantly churning. That is really difficult to deal with.
ugh... can't wait for baby Declan to be here! Honestly I'm going to lose my mind before May!
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