Oh the emotions pregnancy brings!!

This pregnancy has brought about a whole new set of emotions for me... right now I'm lonely and frustrated... I'm on my break from school, a whole month! I thought it was going to be amazing and in ways it has. It was awesome for me to have time to actually prep out Christmas and make it nice for my family... but other than that, I hate it. I'm used to having interaction with people beyond the 2 I live with... I miss succeeding... In school, it is easy to succeed. At home, it is very difficult. Christmas day was nice, but I forgot the rolls and didn't have it in me to make the green beans. I go to run errands and I forget half of what I needed to take to the store to exchange. I go to say something and I forget most of what I was going to say either that or I say the wrong words and even my son looks at me like I'm a moron... Those are the things adding to the frustration... That and the fact that this pregnancies theme is "well can't do that right now" and that is driving me insane. I have OCD, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and being unorganized makes my head explode. I like to plan things out. My friends hate this about me because I'm not spontaneous at all. If you want to see me, you'll need to schedule it 2-3 weeks in advance because I typically have my life planned out that far... I like to make a time line in my head and then accomplish it. If I can accomplish an entire days worth of work then I can actually relax and have fun and get a decent nights sleep. Well in this pregnancy if I can get a whole 10 minutes worth of work done without forgetting something or screwing something up, I'm on a damn roll... and this is killing me... My anxiety is through the roof lately. Panic attacks and pregnancy do not mix well! It just makes the already huge amounts of pain that I'm in worse. Plus it makes me stubborn and I don't take it as easy as I'm supposed to... Lastly the lonely factor... People this isn't an easy pregnancy! It sucks most days! I'm so incredibly excited to meet my little Declan for 2 reasons really... First off so I have a face to put with all of this love and excitement but also so that I'm DONE with this damn pain, upset stomach (awesome side effect of the meds that I'm on, but the alternative is much worse), exhaustion, and inability to function... I feel like I have no support network... My 2 very best friends have moved out of state and man even though it's been 2 years for 1 and 1 year for the other, it's still hard as hell to have them so far away!! I miss them both terribly and hate that I don't even have the option of going to either of their houses...  With Coen, I didn't have a family support network outside of my mom. And wow am I grateful that we didn't lose her a few years back because I don't know what I would do without her right now. She daily checks on me to find out how I'm doing and if it's a good day or a bad day. I am disappointed that she is the only one who does this... Ok ok ok, I'm a stupid emotional needy pregnant chic, and I've apparently set expectations for this pregnancy and the excitement that others should be feeling towards it... I realize that this isn't anyone elses life besides mine and bryce's, but still...


ok rant over... I've been needing to get this crap off my chest and you know what, that's why I started this blog... Not as a way for people to find out how my pregnancy is going without the "hassle" of texting me but as a way to journal about this pregnancy. The goods and the bads... I didn't keep any sort of record with Coen's pregnancy. I don't remember what I did that Christmas... I don't remember laying and talking to my belly. I don't really remember acknowledging him at all until after he was born really and even then post pardum depression kept me from really bonding with him until he was a year old. I'm in a HAPPY place now and I want to be happy about this pregnancy and have a record of it for later.


thank you for reading, sorry if I offend but this is my blog

(don't worry, I will get around to blogging about Christmas!! now I'm going to wipe my tears and watch Bryce play Lego Batman on the Wii... yea we are badass... we play our son's video games when he's at Nana's for the weekend...)

December of craziness!

Holy cow!! It's only the 18th and man this month has been intense!! First off I had to finish school! Classes and finals finished on the 13th. Being in a program now, finals bring a whole new stress. It's not just about passing classes anymore, it's about placing as high in the class as possible in order to get the best externship and job in the end!! Well I was SICK AS A DOG! I wasn't really able to study very much considering I spent most of my time laying flat on my left side with a pillow under my stomach, one behind my back, and one between my knees! difficult position to study in!! Well regardless of how little I studied, I ended up with STRAIGHT A'S!!! Hooray!! That in itself was an awesome Christmas present!!

Now that I'm on break, it was time to get the babies room started! I could potentially end up on bedrest as this pregnancy continues as well as I start another semester of classes on January 14th! So we really wanted to get a move on! When we moved into this house last December, we turned a living room in the basement into our bedroom and turned the small bedroom next to it into an AMAZING walk in closet!! However we always knew that this was temporary! It was really just a decoy! We didn't want people to get any hints that we were planning on having a baby. If we left that room empty, it would've given it away. Well we spent an insane day at IKEA buying a built-in customized closet for our bedroom! I spent an afternoon on the computer designing it and the measurements fit exactly in the space that we had in our room!

We turned this:

into this:

I absolutely LOVE it!!! So organized, so pretty, just perfect!! And now the babies room is acting as our Christmas wrapping room! Let that fun begin!!

This past weekend started the holiday party extravaganza! Holy cow... I do love Christmas parties however this baby makes being social really difficult unless it involves me laying on my own couch and people coming to us (which rarely happens). So we made our rounds and boy I sure got exhausted! I had 2 contractions Saturday night. Not fun. Sunday we had a cookie decorating party and on the drive home, I fell asleep in the car. I talked the boys into taking a nap for an hour before we left for a dinner party and white elephant gift exchange with my mom's side of the family. I'm sure glad I got that nap or I wouldn't have made it thru that party!

Yesterday, I spent the day on the couch resting and re-cooperating! Bryce had to work, then my mom called him to get some secret spy things. I just about started crying when he walked in with 3 big bags of presents with strict rules that they be put under our tree right then. I LOVE having presents under the tree prior to Christmas, but we hadn't gotten anything wrapped yet! My mom spoiled us!! My favorite present is the one for Mommy & baby. Oh how I love seeing that!! I'm so excited to meet our little one!

On Thursday this week, the 20th, we're finding out the gender!! I'm hoping for a girl so I can have one of each! Bryce wants a healthy baby, and Coen wants a boy... We have names for each gender and honestly, I'm going to be sad to not use one of the names!! I'm grateful that I'm not having twins, but I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to use both of these adorable names!!!

bedrest + finals = one crazy cranky momma!

Ok so I haven't been officially put on bedrest! However, at about 3pm, I'm utterly TOAST! I'm in pain, I'm exhausted, and worst of all, I have zero patience. I spend a great deal of time laying on our couch with a pillow under my baby belly and a pillow behind my back to help me stay on my left side. I'm sick of it! One day I was on the couch from 2pm til 1am when Bryce woke me up to take me to bed. This is ridiculous. I'm only 15 weeks along! Kinda driving me batty. Studying is all but impossible. I sit up all day for school and by the time I get home, I can't sit up any longer. Also every other day, I take a medication that makes me even more sick and in pain and unable to do anything but keep the couch from hitting the ceiling...

In good news, we are getting things arranged for baby! I'm so excited! We moved into this 3 bedroom knowing that we would have a family room for our master bedroom and a tiny bedroom as our temporary walk in closet. This temporary walk in closet will now be a nursery! So hopefully this weekend we'll venture down to IKEA to get the things we need to build a closet in our bedroom! I'm ridiculously excited! This means we'll finally finish decorating our bedroom! HOORAY!!! And we can start getting baby stuff!! On the 20th, I'm really hoping baby is spread eagle so we can find out the gender! I've got my fingers crossed for a girl and Bryce has his crossed for a boy! (either way both of us will be happy though! healthy and full term is all we really care about!)

Update on baby!

bryce and i went to the doctor today. had an ultrasound and got to see babies little feet? man im grateful that my placenta is anterior because this little one is a wiggling fool. my doctor found the problem. my exterior cervix is open. my internal cervix is closed and hasnt shortened at all. im not on bedrest but i do need to take it easy and attempt to reduce my stress. this could lead to a bigger problem or this could just be no problem at all. my doctor will check my cervix again in three weeks when we go in for our next ultrasound. hopefully everything will be fine and we will hopefully find out the gender too

Happy Birthday to ME!! (and a scary end to our night)

I don't know if everyone knows this or not but I LOVE LOVE LOVE birthdays! Its the one day to be selfish and have a day all about yourself! I love the outpouring of love, I love the special things, I love the extra love. I just love birthdays!

My age doesn't matter to me at all. Bryce loves joking that I'm old. He's 14 months younger than me. He also knows that age doesn't matter to me so he loves to poke and prod. he's a stinker!

This year I got 3 birthdays parties! Two of them were really a mask for us being able to get people together to tell everyone that we are expecting a baby.

Some of the reactions were awesome and we truly felt loved. Others were less than stellar and left us feeling odd.

Yesterday was my actual birthday. Bryce cooked a yummy dinner, tortellini and homemade alfredo! mmmmm (we have the BEST recipe!) and garlic bread. he baked brownies for dessert! my fav! I'm not big on cake.

Unfortunately baby wasn't a fan of dinner and I was pretty sick and hurting. That didn't stop me from loving my evening with my 2 favorite boys. Bryce and Coen spoiled me! Coen thought I needed candy so he got me swedish fish and sour patch kids. I love how he thinks of the most random things to get me. He was also determined to get me pjs. The boys found some awesomely cozy gray and yellow pj pants. I can't wait to wear them! Bryce found me some long sleeve shirts to wear under scrubs so i don't freeze at school! hooray!

By the end of the night, I was hurting pretty bad... I was really nervous... We ended up waking up Coen and going to the ER at 11pm. I have a follow up appointment today. More to come on that excitement... Keep us in your thoughts and prayers!!

We FINALLY told everyone!!

How wonderful of a weekend it has been!! I am so excited that we have finally told everyone! Here are a few of the best responses!!

Gram : CARLY!! (in her incredibly shrill voice!)

My mom : What took you guys so long? You've been together 3 years?

Emily : Christmas cards my ass! (that's how I got people's addresses! very tricky!)

Brianne (Bryce's sister) : I won the race!!! (we were having a "race" to see who would be the first to have a baby but no one would fess up to who actually wanted to win. Bri is the only one left without a kiddo of her own so she considers herself the winner haha)

Aunt Branden : scream... scream some more... hug me... scream some more... hug me again...

Bryce's Mom : (basically utter shock...) I never thought Bryce would have any!

Melanie : (longest lecture ever!!) You should've told me!! I could've been sworn to secrecy! How have you had all these conversations about me trying to get pregnant and still keep that secret.


This was such a great weekend! I am so happy that our families are so excited! Now to wait til December 20th to find out what we're having!!

13 weeks!

Starting to show! I'm showing much sooner than with Coen, but I'm 8 years older and well a pound or 2 heavier... This is the last week of my 1st trimester and I've gained a pound and a half! I'll take it! My doctor said that is perfectly fine so I'm happy!

Oh and yeah I'm a brunette again... I got bored with the blond! I also wear my hair down quite often...

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I'm thankful that the morning (ALL DAMN DAY!!) sickness has gone away so that I'm able to cook dinner for my family!!

We made everything...

yummy turkey stuffed with lemons, oranges, thyme, rosemary, and garlic! 

mashed potatoes and gravy

yams with marshmellows

fresh rolls

stuffing, the only kind worth eating... Stove Top all the way!

and pumpkin pie with fresh whip cream!

wow everything turned out DELISH! I was highly impressed! Neither Bryce or I had ever made a turkey before! It turned out so yummy and juicy and the gravy was perfect, made from the drippings. I bought jarred gravy just in case the gravy was a bust, but after making it with my Grandma Elaine on Sunday, it turned out perfect... 

It was really nice having Bryce's dad, Bob, over for dinner. He came over early and it was adorable to hear Coen playing with his grandpa. They don't really see each other very often but they had a blast wrestling around. Bob kept throwing him on the couch and Coen was throwing pillows at him. They had a blast. 

I loved being able to tell someone else. We dropped the bomb right before we started eating. Coen was so excited to tell someone! He is just itching to be able to tell everyone! Bob is excited for us. He has 3 grandkids from Bryce's step brother, 2 girls and 1 boy. The boy is just a baby so I think that is why Bob and Coen had so much fun together wrestling around.

3 month doctors visit!!

At school today, my teachers told me that there was a slight possibility that I could find out the gender today! Holy cow! That just made my excitement even more off the charts!

We dropped Coen off at the daycare, he has the day off from school for Turkey Day, and we went to the doctor. Today has been an insane day of getting the announcements done, going to 1 stinking class (the other was cancelled), having a photo shoot with Coen, going to costco to get pics developed, and then a doctors appointment! I had class tonight too but well... at 5pm, I passed out on the couch and didn't wake up until 7:30... class started at 7... so I just skipped it!

We had another ultrasound today... every thing looks great!! Let me remind you of our last ultrasound...

And here is today's ultrasound!!

Can you see it's little face?? I just wish that the doctor had gotten a good pic of the whole body!

This pic isn't as clear but if you imagine from the last ultrasound from today, just picture the babies hand in front of it's face! It was clear as day on the monitor but didn't translate to a pic as well as I'd hope!

This ultrasound was amazing! We got to see all of baby. And it looks human! fully formed and adorably tiny! About the size of a medium shrimp now! While the doctor was doing the ultrasound, she was trying to get the heartbeat and the baby wouldn't hold still! Seriously boogying around! Bryce and I were so excited to see our little one moving around like that!!

Baby's heart beat was 163, a little bit slower than last time but still strong and perfect!

Here is the catch... My due date WAS June 6th... NOW IT IS MAY 30TH!!! Ok I realize that it's only 1 week, but it is MAY! What if baby comes a week early and is literally born on Coen's birthday!?!

Apparently the biggest measurement of our last visit was accurate and I'm further along than expected...

Our next appointment is December 20th and she is hopeful that we'll be able to find out what we're having! I'll be 17 weeks along and typically you can find out between 16-19 weeks!

Announcements are in the mail!!

HOLY COW! THE SECRET IS ALMOST UP!!!

HOLY COW! EVERYONE IS GOING TO FREAK OUT!!!

I couldn't be more relieved!! This secret is 11 months in the making and honestly I'm exhausted by it! I want people to know! I want people to check in on me. I want to tell people about it... I mean I'm sick as a dog, my hip is jacked up, I'm utterly exhausted, I'm behind on EVERYTHING and I just have to tell people that school is bogging me down... which sure school is keeping me busy, but his baby is why everything is so difficult!!

I cannot wait for people to get their announcements! Only some people are getting them. Close family and friends but only the ones who we can't tell in person... Sorry there are just too many people for us to make individual house calls to!

As for our parents, we're telling them all this week!! Bryce's dad is coming over for Thanksgiving dinner so we're going to tell him then. On Friday, we're having a bday party for me (HOORAY!!) at my mom's and we'll tell my side of the family then. We'll also make stops at Bryce's Grandma Lupie's and my Gram's house! On Saturday, Bryce and his mom are throwing me (and Cody and Anthony, 2 of Bryce's brothers) a birthday party at The Pie in Ogden. We'll be telling that side of the family then! I made the most adorable (sorry I have to brag since I typically have ZERO creativity when it comes to arts and crafts!) announcement! The 2 grandma's (my mom and Bryce's) are getting the originals and the announcements that got mailed out are copies of it.

I've been joking with Bryce that because I'm the pregnant one, I'm physically safe, but that he should be prepared to be beaten to a pulp! I know that his mom and Chelsey will be beating him up... Chelsey for sure since he teases and taunts her so badly... And ours moms will probably unleash some frustration because of the fact that they are constantly begging for a grandchild!

WE FINALLY TOLD COEN!!!

He's been begging, praying, pleading, groveling, and has even resorted to bribery... He wants a sibling so incredibly badly! It was so excited to finally tell him. He thinks getting a baby for his birthday is the best present ever! I can't wait to make him a big brother.

He had so many adorable questions... concerned about the baby chewing on his toys... concerned about where the baby would sleep... concerned about well basically everything! I have loved answering his questions tonight...

some of the best questions...

Do I have to change poopy diapers?

Will the baby have to stay in it's room all the time since it can't walk?

Is the baby just swimming around in your blood or what? 

How am I going to lock my room so the baby can't get in?


Here are his votes for the gender and his explanations... he came up with these all on his own...

Twins... one boy and one girl... so he can give the boy his toys when he leaves for college (he watched toy story 3 today and still doesn't understand why a girl got boy toys...) and a girl so he can torture her (he and dad watch WAY too much Phineas and Ferb!) and so we have a flower girl...

Hate to burst his bubble but the doctor was pretty sure that there was only 1 baby in there...

One of his major concerns was that he still get a birthday party and that Derek and Austin (2 friends from school) get invited. I let him know that he would absolutely be getting a birthday party (but in the back of my mind, i thought HELL NO! I'll be 9 months pregnant! hahahaha I promise he'll get a party, but dad may be in charge and mom will just "supervise") 

He is also quite convinced that the baby is going to come out and be an instant playmate... I was hoping that having him see Baby Sadie (our niece) would help him realize that babies are born tiny and don't really do much for quite some time... 

Early Thanksgiving Dinner with Grandma Elaine!

On the 3rd Sunday of every month, my Grandma Elaine has a big family dinner. Not everyone always comes over... We rarely are able to make it... But this month, we did!

Once again I got the typical petition for a grandchild... from my Grandma and from my mom... I'm highly impressed with our ability to keep our mouths shut!!!

Dinner was delicious. I love getting together with that side of my family. I don't get to see any of them very often. Wish more of my cousins had come though. Jon and Bonnie (my uncle and his wife) made the most delish turkey stuffed with lemons and oranges! I'm absolutely stealing this idea because I don't like stuffing in the bird...

Ladies day at craft fairs!!

Hello my name is Carly... I'm 28... and I've never been to a craft fair!! How is this possible in Utah? I'm really not sure!!

Bryce's mom, Camie, invited me and all of the other ladies (sounds weird calling us girls!) in our family to go to craft fairs! Bryce's youngest sister Bri and Bryce's sister in law Chelsey came with us too! It was a blast! However... Do you, who ever is reading this, have any freaking idea how hard it is to go to a craft fair when you're pregnant and NO ONE KNOWS IT!!!

If I had the money and if everyone knew about the baby, I would've come home with everything necessary for babies nursery! We've decided on monkeys for a boy and owls for a girl... I'm just grateful that Chelsey is Baby Sadies mom and I was able to point out all of the cute baby stuff for her! When really I was dying to buy every owl related item for my little one!

It is a good thing that we don't know the gender or it would've been even more difficult!

We had so much fun though! My morning sickness is finally starting to settle down so I didn't get sick after lunch! My hip wasn't hurting too badly even though it was a ton of walking around. I didn't have to go to the bathroom a million times... Honestly I'm stoked that I made it home without the 3 of them cornering me and demanding that I tell them the truth!!

Thank you little peanut for cooperating so we could keep our secret!! Don't worry, only 2 more weeks of secret keeping!!

Thank you even more to Camie for inviting me! I've been in the family for 3 years but this was the first year that I could go! Thank you to Bri and Chelsey for making it a blast and mocking all of the cheesy things with me! I love the family that I'm marrying into!

Why is the room spinning??

Woke up this morning not feeling well. I decided to go to school anyway... bad idea!

by about 10am, right as I got to school, I started getting weak and dizzy. This happened with Coen too so I ate a banana, I ate protein, I drank water, I stretched, I popped my back, I sat down, I stood up, I laid down... I literally did EVERYTHING that would work to correct this problem with Coen. During my pregnancy with Coen, I had a really hard time keeping my potassium levels high enough. So I automatically assumed that was the problem this time.

However after 2 hours and no help and really it was just getting worse, I decided I needed to leave school. I skipped out on my last class and instead went to Lakeview ER... My dr was on lunch so the triage nurse said to just go in especially since I figured that I knew what was wrong. I go to the ER, my blood pressure was kinda all over the place, but no horrible numbers. They did a ton of lab work. They rigged me up to an IV and pumped me full of fluids. Ultimately when my labs came back, there was no discernible cause. My potassium was at the lowest end of normal but was still considered normal. The ER doc said to go home and rest and to come back if the dizziness didn't go away within a few hours.

Well it did, but the weakness didn't. Hopefully tomorrow is a better day!

Still can't walk...

Off to the chiropractor again because I still can't walk. It got better for about a week after my last appointment and then started hurting again... Luckily I found a huge ice pack that I use quite regularly when I'm home and my car has heated seats which double as a heating pad!

Oh and the verdict is that my ligaments have loosened... which shouldn't happen until the 3rd trimester! It's going to be an interesting pregnancy! I might end up like jello by May!

Happy Halloween!!

Halloween is one of my absolutely favorite holidays. I just love the whimsy and goofiness of it all. I love the "evil" decorations. I love the cartooniness!

This year I worried was going to be quite different though. This pregnancy has made me exhausted and by about 5pm, I'm done and just want to go to bed. Not to mention that my hip pain makes it difficult, at best, to walk.

I typically plan out a Halloween themed dinner for Halloween night. One year I did hotdogs wrapped in bread dough in the shape of mummies and green colored mashed potatoes. The next year I did taco salads that looked like zombies. I love the creative nature of Halloween.

This year at about 4pm on tonight, I realized that I hadn't planned ANYTHING for dinner! How could I have forgotten?? I was so upset... Bryce talked me into getting a pumpkin shaped pizza from Papa Murphy's and we got a red V8 Splash that was our "blood". It turned out to be a fun and easy dinner for this tired momma.

This year Coen wanted to be a superhero. Not just a superhero, but an Avenger! Not just an Avenger, but Hawkeye... Did you know that this is by far the most difficult costume to find for a 7 year old??? It was a joke! But alas, I did find it and he was quite happy.

The weather this year was epic! It was absolutely perfect. I couldn't have asked for better weather. Bryce is working nights so we decided to go out at about 5:30pm to do our trick or treating. Coen is at that perfect age where we have to go with him, but he doesn't need to be escorted to the door and we don't really have to leave the sidewalk! He loved it! I'm still in that mode where I like spending holidays with just us, so we didn't go with friends or anything. Just the 4 of us! (so fun still that Coen doesn't know! Bryce and I love keeping this secret even though each day gets more and more difficult)

I was highly impressed with my hip! I was able to make it through all of our trick or treating with out any pain really! It started to ache at the end, but not a lot which was nice cuz we still had to walk home and that was about 3 blocks. Coen got an amazing haul of candy and none of it was crap that needed to just be thrown away!!



Happy Halloween!!

sickies update...

Gatorade is vital to my survival... If I drink some Gatorade before I eat ANYTHING AT ALL, then my nausea is quite mild. I'm talking super mild! I was able to eat anything today without it making me sick! HOORAY!! SUCCESS!!

However I'm going to go broke having to buy all of this Gatorade! And I'll single handedly fill up a landfill with my empty bottles!! I'm going to switch to the drink packets that I can mix with water... At least I'll be able to refill it with water and reuse a bottle! I hope it has the same effect as regular Gatorade! I am going through three 32 ounce bottles a day! That is gonna get pricey!

I'm really feeling like an old lady right about now...

So I gave in... I went to a chiropractor today to find out what is going on with my hip. The pain gets a little worse each day and I'm sure that I'll be even worse off as this pregnancy progresses...

verdict is... displaced acetabular joint with acetabular inflamation and a displaced femoral head... aka I dislocated my freaking hip!!

let the old lady jokes commence...

trust me Bryce is DYING to post old lady posts on facebook! I talked him out of it considering how do I explain this without giving away our big secret??

So I got to lay on ice and an electroshock machine that made my butt and hip muscles freak out. It didn't hurt, but it felt incredibly odd!

Then came the pain... the chiropractor had to pop my hip back into socket! It hurt so badly but the pain only lasted for a microsecond! thank heavens! It was more shocking than truly painful.

When he originally checked my posture, my left hip was higher than my right by almost a freaking inch!! my right one is the dislocated one...

He was able to get my hips nearly in line with each other!

I have a follow up on Thursday Nov 1st. Really hoping it helps more. Right now I'm hurting but resting and icing my hip. He said that it would hurt tonight since he just put it back into socket...

Pumpkin Carving Party!

Every year, the Bertagnoli (my inlaws) have a family pumpkin carving party! Bryce's sister, Melissa, has a gigantic driveway. They roll plastic or butcher paper out and we all get to carve away! Their neighbors come with their kids, family friends come with their kids. It's great!

Bryce is working the craziest of shifts so he wasn't able to come with us. He was home sleeping... Poor guy!!

Luckily our pumpkins (thank you Uncle Ryan!!) were really soft and easy to carve! Last years pumpkins were solid as a rock! I wasn't able to carve last years pumpkins, but this year was quite different!

Coen carved his own pumpkin this year. It was adorable! He had so much fun! Then he got to play in the backyard with Gage and Robert. They had a blast!

I got to go in the house and cuddle baby Sadie! Oh how cute is she! She is a month old now! Which means not only is she more awake and just as sweet as ever, but it means that I've known that I am pregnant for a month! I'm proud of myself for holding onto this secret for this long!

Sadie makes me even more excited to meet our little one...

SICK AS A DOG!!!!!

Holy cow!! I've never been this sick... Over the past few weeks, I've had a bit of nausea, but nothing too bad. Annoying more than anything... This weekend couldn't be more different! All I can do is sit on the couch and cry...

Doesn't help that Bryce is on the mountain deer hunting... ultra crappy timing!!

Even water is gross today... Which is odd because I drink an incredible amount of water every day... 120 ounces typically... but not today...

Apple sauce is the only thing that tastes good... and I just ran out... Is Coen old enough to go to the store alone?? damn probably not...

What an amazing little heart beat!

Today Bryce and I met my OBGYN and had our first prenatal visit! Dr Candice Nielson at Lakeview OBGYN.
I had at first found a doctor who delivered my friend Latarran's baby. She also uses doTERRA and her doctor loves doTERRA and actually recommends it to his patients. However, with Coen, I had a c-section and after that had a lot of difficulties. I didn't dare have a family practioner as my prenatal doctor.

I really want to deliver in Bountiful. Why? Because I live here. Because I am desperate to build a life here. Because I want all of our doctors, dentists, etc to be here in town. Because Bountiful is our HOME and there are aspects of that which are still missing in my mind... I grew up in a tiny town and people went to the same doctors office their entire life. Their doctor KNEW them. I want this...

So I found a doctor here in Bountiful who delivers at Lakeview. I LOVE her. She was so kind, so considerate, and so willing to just sit and talk with us. We were able to ask all of our questions, I had quite a list. She is open to me using doTERRA to treat any and all problems that I come across. She said that she is willing to let me try those things first, if they don't work, she'll offer supplements to fix it, and lastly we can discuss medication or medical interventions. WOW! I was blown away! She is very mother-driven in her practice and that makes me very comfortable with her.

Then came the most amazing thing... Something that took me over in a way I hadn't expected. I mean this isn't my first pregnancy or first child. I hadn't expected the emotional take over that was going to happen just by having Bryce there with me. I never had someone with me in my prenatal appointments except for the first one and my friend Melanie went with me. Having my baby's father there with me to see and hear OUR baby for the first time was utterly amazing!

At my appointment, I was 7 weeks and 6 days along according to the best info I had... However our little peanut is measuring at 8 weeks 5 days! Ok it's only a week, however when we first saw the baby, it was tiny! About the size of a blueberry! but when my doctor moved the ultrasound a bit more, it doubled in size! My first fear was holy shit twins! luckily this was not the case! not twins, just further along than expected and the baby was twice the size that it should've been. Instead of just being a ball of cells, it is a long ball of cells like a kidney bean.

I've seen ultrasounds before so immediately I was able to recognize the little heart fluttering on the screen. Bryce could see the screen too but he didn't know what to look for. When she turned on the sound and we got to hear the heart beat, poor Bryce... He got rather scared. Doctor explained that a heart rate of 171 is normal for a tiny little baby like ours even though it sounds like it will explode.

Overall this appointment was amazing! I've never seen Bryce so damn happy! He was giddy all evening and had a smile on his face like I've never seen before. Oh how happy this makes me! I cannot wait to meet our little peanut!!

Predictions: I think I'm having a girl. This pregnancy couldn't be different than my 1st one. Also the heart beat is really fast which usually signals a girl. Also I really want a girl... Bryce on the other hand is terrified of having a daughter! He is hoping for a house of boys so he wants another boy.

OUCH!!!!! Why can't I walk??

The past week or 2, I've had this weird pain in my hip. Its really deep in my hip. Mornings, it is only a slight pain but by night time it is terrible! I'm talking rough! Like standing is hard, walking is hard, getting in bed is hard... Must remember this at my OB appointment!

Lovely day for a wedding

Today Bryce and I got to go celebrate with my friend Jillian and her hubby Ian while they celebrated their 10th wedding anniversary. It was lovely fall weather. It was an even more lovely ceremony... Oh how exciting events like these are since we have such a gigantic secret!!!

Not only was this wedding delightful, but it really made me want to have a celebration with Bryce. I want it to be just like Jillian's ceremony... Not to copy her decor, or theme or anything like that. I just want something that fits us so perfectly like their ceremony did. It was qwerky, it was fun, it was whimsical, it fit them to a T. I cannot wait to marry Bryce. Ok I can wait, but I am so excited for it to happen as well. All in good time :)

I love family time!! (especially with a secret!!)

Today we were able to go to Grandma Camie's house to have dinner. She made the most yummy chili! one red one with beef and one white one with chicken! I MUST get these recipes! I'll probably have to rename the chicken one to something like chicken soup though because both boys explained to me today that what I was eating was NOT chili...

Anyway moving right along... It was really nice to get to see family. Josh and Cassey were there and so was Melissa and Billy. The best surprise was that Seth and Chelsey brought Sadie!! I was so happy to get to cuddle with her again. She is 8 days old today! (Crazy that I've only known that I am prego for 8 days! seems longer!) She is absolutely adorable and has so much dark hair!

Again it is just hilarious to get to snuggle this little life knowing that an even smaller life is growing inside of me. Oh Sadie makes me want this pregnancy to move along quicker! I cannot wait to get to snuggle my own little one!!! Honestly seeing Sadie just makes me more excited to be pregnant. Her birth couldn't have been more perfectly timed! for me that is... :)

Grandma Camie put in her usual plug for us having a baby... She said "yup Carly, I think you need one" and I responded with "One what?" hahahahahaha yes I'd heard her... but it's getting incredibly difficult to dodge the obvious elephant in the room (that Bryce and I only can see of course!!) Her comment was brought on by Coen's constant visits to Baby Sadie to tell her hi. He couldn't get over the fact that she is so tiny. He thinks she is adorable though and went in to talk to her quite a few times tonight. He was really excited to meet his youngest cousin!

I cannot wait to give Coen a baby brother or sister... This is a huge thing for me. About 5 years ago, the plan was for me to get pregnant soon... Well my marriage quickly imploded shortly there after and I'm incredibly grateful that my ex and I didn't have any children together. However, this did leave a gigantic hole in my plans and in my wants and desires for a family...

It's taken me a long time to find someone who was worthy of having a child with and I'm so incredibly happy with Bryce. Yes we've had some major ups and downs. I truly feel that this was both of us testing the boundaries. Well we know those boundaries now and neither of us is willing to test them any further. We got our immature needs out of the way in the first 2 years of our relationship. The last year has been amazing journey and growth of our family after an awful revelation was made last year. (sorry guys, not going into this any further...) Bryce is my rock. I'm more comfortable in my own skin while I've been with him than ever before. I truly feel cherished and that isn't something that I've ever felt before.

I cannot wait to give him a son or a daughter. He is so excited about me giving birth to his child. He honestly talked me into trying to conceive... yes it was all his idea! I'm so excited to build our little family from 3 to 4... June cannot come soon enough...


Extra Fun Fact... I was pregnant at Chelsey's baby shower... hahahahahaha

FIVE WEEKS!!!!!

Ok wait... I'm Pregnant!!!

I'm a full time student...

I'm a mom...

I'm a fiance...

I have a house to run...

I take care of my grandparents...

I run my own business from home...

and NOW I'M HAVING A BABY!! Was I really thinking when I decided to take this on too??

Well yes I was actually! My pregnancy with Coen was a breeze! a few bumps in the road, but not too bad... I was working 50-60 hours a week with ease... I wasn't sick... I wasn't having any real pregnancy side effects...

I'm almost 5 weeks into the pregnancy and it is not the same as with Coen... Luckily as of right now, I'm still not sick! That is a relief for many reasons! namely the fact that I don't have time to be sick and secondly, it will help us keep this under wraps!

The side effect that I am having though is complete and utter exhaustion!! I'm seriously DEAD TIRED!! Yesterday after coming home from school, I passed out on the couch for a couple hours... Today, I would've done the same, but Bryce wasn't home to pick up Coen and I didn't dare to fall asleep for fear that I wouldn't be awake to get Coen after school...

Now in typical fashion, I'm hitting my second wind at 9pm... I'll probably be up til about midnight... At least I have some productive hours of the day!!

I'm in the process of finding a doctor. My delivery with Coen ended up being via emergency c-section and I have had some pretty major medical issues following his birth... I found one doctor that I was completely set on... He delivered 2 of my friends babies... He is an avid user and believer in doTERRA Essential Oils which is HUGE for me... He even has a Modern Essentials (the essential oils bible!) in his office for constant reference... One problem... he's a family practitioner! not an OBGYN... Well he is out of the question now which has me completely bummed out!!

I've found 2 doctors in Bountiful that I'm interested in, but the problem with keeping this pregnancy under wraps is that I can't ask people if they can refer me to a good doc!! Bryce and I are hoping to get into see one of the 2 docs that I found and we'll see how we like them!!

We're keeping this a secret for HOW long???

We decided long before we got pregnant that we wanted to keep it a secret until we knew if we were having a boy or a girl...

I'm not so secretly wishing for a girl... Bryce is quite vocal about wanting a boy... and well Coen wants twins, one of each! haha

I went to school Monday wanting to yell it from the roof tops!

I got a text from Melanie, one of my absolute best friends... She first asked if Bryce and I were getting married next year... I said I don't know, because we really don't know when we're going to get married... She then asked if we had any plans for kids... I gave her my typical answer "Not today..." and I followed it up with telling her that my only rule was that we not have our kids 10 full years apart so I'd need to have the next one by the time I turned 31. I'm 28 right now, 29 next month (November 27th)... so according to her, I still had time!

bwahahahahahahahaha

But honestly, I don't know how successfully we'll be able to keep this a secret!!

Our little secret... and a new niece!!

Late on September 29th, our newest niece came into the world! Sadie Kay was born to Seth and Chelsey at 11 pm! Were really sad to not be there, but honestly, we were still celebrating our wonderful news! Plus I was exhausted!

On Sunday the 30th, we got to go up to McKay Dee hospital and see the little angel. I couldn't believe how precious she is! It was such a thrill to get to snuggle her knowing that inside of me was a tiny growing baby...

Even more entertaining was when Grandma Camie made a comment about Bryce needing a baby after she saw him holding baby Sadie. Oh the internal giggles!!!

Bryce and I kept whispering 6/6/13 (our due date) to each other... It was incredibly hard to leave the hospital... Sadie was just so precious and seeing such a tiny baby, made it all the more real that we were having one of our own!

Later that day, we went to my mom's to pick up Coen... once again she went on about wanting a granddaughter RIGHT NOW... I again had to play it off saying my signature line "well maybe not today"... She let it drop... Oh how Bryce and I are dying laughing at this point...

What is that I see??

On September 28th, Bryce and I went on an awesome date. We were finally able to get a baby sitter. My mom was recovering from a rather extensive back surgery and after 3 months, we finally felt comfortable enough to allow Coen to spend the night... which turned to spending the weekend!

On the morning of September 29th, I woke up really really wanting to take a pregnancy test. I was planning on taking one on October 1st and Bryce thought that I should be patient...

What he didn't know was that while he was taking out the dog, I snuck upstairs and took a pregnancy test! I couldn't even wait the full 3 minutes! I took a peak at the test...

I grabbed it, ran down the stairs, and instantly started bawling when I saw Bryce... He honestly wasn't sure what was going on... then he saw the pregnancy test and I managed to say, "there are 2 lines"... I fell into his arms still crying...

tears of relief, tears of excitement, happy tears, holy shit we're having a baby tears... all sorts of tears!

We went to a doctor and had the pregnancy confirmed... I cannot believe that our journey had finally begun and in 8-9 months, we'd be a family of 4...

I'm calling this blog poppyseed because that is the size of our little one at the time we found out that we were pregnant!

Baby Martinez due June 6, 2013!!

Hopefully he/she doesn't come too early and land on Coen's bday! (May 23rd!!)

Decisions Decisions...

Bryce and I met in 2009... both were fresh off of divorces... neither were looking for anything real...

3 years later, wow!! how things have changed! In 8 short days, we will have been together for 3 years...

Originally our plan was to get married on September 15, 2012... In 2011, we had a lot of drama, lets call them speed bumps in our relationship...

In January 2012, we made a monumental decision! We decided to call off our wedding (for now), and instead focus on having a baby! We also decided that we weren't going to tell anyone at all!

On May 2nd, after finishing my final exams for the semester, I had got off of birth control. Our plan was not to try, but to just stop preventing. That didn't last long. We'd honestly expected to get pregnant quickly. Month after month went buy with nothing but negative tests...

This turned out to be the most taxing thing that we'd ever been through. We were officially trying, calculating my cycle, changing my diet, I was on prenatal vitamins... the works... still nothing...

This period of time was a lot more difficult that either of us had expected. It really took a toll on us emotionally. I'm glad that we chose to not tell anyone, but it was difficult for us to go thru it alone.